How to Prep Your Toddler for Daycare and Keep Calm at Pickup
Beginning these routines early can help ease both you and your toddler into the shift from home to daycare to have a seamless childcare transition.
1. Communicate Predictably
Why: When pickup and drop‑off feel predictable, children explore more confidently, and parents worry less.
Keep promises and repair them. If you’re late, apologize and restate the routine.“I know I said after snack, sorry I was late today. Tomorrow I will be here after snack.” Consistent repair keeps trust intact.
Consistency builds secure attachment: keeping promises helps teach your child faster that you go, but then you return.
Create small, consistent rituals to build trust. “I’ll pick you up after your rest time,” and actually come.
2. Have A Few Drop-Off Tricks
Why: A few simple drop‑off tricks create predictable cues that calm your child, reduce separation anxiety, and make transitions quicker and smoother.
Use events and routines: When communicating time, use daycare events or routines (after lunchtime) instead of clock numbers ( 3:00).
Consistent shadowing: Ask your child’s teacher for a few daily language routines and steps used at daycare so you can use them at home as well.
Goodbye token object: Give a small, safe item (a bracelet, sticker, or hairband) that your child can wear, and say, “Please save this for me until pickup time.”
Picture cue: Give your child a family picture to add to the classroom family photo board and say, “When you miss mommy and daddy, we are thinking of you.” They can look at the picture for comfort and reassurance.
Book reflection: Make a simple home book or picture cards with your child as the main character going to school. Add the drop-off, the pick-ups, and the daycare key events (arrival, snack, nap, play, pickup), and let them look at it each morning. This can be left in your child's cubby until pickup.
One consistent signal: Keep drop‑offs brief and positive. Say the exact short goodbye phrase at drop-off each day to your child; this can make it feel like part of the routine.
Transitional object: Give a safe, small, familiar item (e.g., a hair clip, a soft toy, or a photo card) to keep in their cubby at daycare and hold when they feel unsure.
Practice separations: Start practicing short drop‑offs and leaving for short periods so your child learns that you always come back before starting daycare.
Teacher reminder: Ask your child’s educators to repeat your promise after you leave within the first couple of weeks: “Mommy/daddy will be back to pick you up after his/her work is done”.
Toddler’s input: Let your child choose the pickup ritual, a high-five, drinking some water, or a hug.
Celebrate the wait: Acknowledge and praise your child’s coping. Say, “You did it, you made it through a whole day of daycare, and then I came back.” Reinforce their coping, not just the reunion.
Two-way picture book: Create a book for your child, featuring a home page, an image of you at work, a school page showing your child, and a reunion page showing both of you together. Read it nightly for a week pre-start.
Color-code days: Communicate any changes to pick up the night before, and give your child another reminder in the morning. “Grandma is picking you up today from daycare/school”.
3. Prep Before Daycare Starts
Why: Daycare talk can help your child start to envision what this experience might be like. Talk about: what daycare is, why kids go there, what it might look like, how they might feel, how you feel about leaving them, and what their day might look like.
Talk about:
The daycare schedule, transitions, activities, and environment.
The duration your child will be at daycare.
Where and what you will be doing at work, for example, ‘‘Mommy/daddy will be at work while you are at daycare doing fun activities. After work, I/we will come and get you, and we'll come home”.
The different kinds of children and teachers who might be at the daycare.
What taking a nap at daycare might look and feel like. Remind your child to be quiet, even when they're not resting.
The importance of listening to their daycare teachers and following class rules.
The foods that they might have. Then, start giving your child some of them at home.
Start :
Role-playing scenarios about having fears, nerves, emotions, and how to work through them. Remind your child that going to daycare is a daily thing.
Listening to your child as they express their feelings and emotions about going to daycare.
Exposing your child to new social environments where they can talk to other children, make sounds, learn new words, listen to others, form comfort levels, and acquire new play skills.
Reading picture storybooks about going to daycare, being separated from parents, parents going to work, and meeting new kids. This can give your child a visual representation of what might happen and help them see themselves in the same situation.
Having a visit to the daycare with your child. Look around the classroom and walk around the daycare, giving your child time to observe and ask questions.
Remind your child that you will come back to pick them up after work.
Start using daycare, simple language, and routines at home. Try starting to use words and names of objects, and set a schedule around bedtime and mealtime. Comments that your child might hear at daycare.
Be excited about daycare when talking to your child. Hearing your excitement, kind words about their teachers, and openness can help your child adjust their thoughts about daycare more positively.
Start teaching at home
More please.
Manners, thank you, no thank you.
Help please.
Proper bathroom words.
Proper body part names and words.
Clothing words.
Sleep time.
Self-help skills.
Can I have a turn, please?
Waiting for things.
Independent playing.
Falling asleep on their own.
Trying new foods.
Engaging in imaginative cognitive thought.
Pretend play.
Reading books.
Signs that can be taught at home
More.
Please.
Water.
Help.
A few food signs include milk, crackers, and cookies.
4. Ease Into Daycare
Why: Starting your toddler’s daycare week on a Wednesday, if possible, might help them transition more comfortably and get used to the daycare experience more easily. By starting on a Wednesday, your child can have 3 days at daycare, then have the weekend and a few extra days to spend time with you.
My suggestions for the first month
Keep the drop-off stable: This time can be around 8:00- 8:15 am. This is usually when the class has only a few kids present, making it a bit quiet.
A good goodbye: It is recommended that you say goodbye to your toddler before you leave.
Crying: When you leave, your child will most likely cry, but they will eventually calm down. Over time, it will get less.
Keep the pick-up time stable: This time can be after lunch, around 12:00 pm, or at 3:00 pm, which can give your child a chance to get a feel for how things are at daycare.
Discuss daycare and connect: Try to mirror your child’s home activities with their daycare activities. Listen to your child talk about their feelings, their friends, teachers, events, and likes and dislikes about daycare.
Get them involved: Encourage your child to help you prepare for daycare by gathering their backpack, clothing, stuffed animal, supplies, and blanket, and by packing their essentials while singing daycare songs.
Visit environments with diverse ethnicities: Within the daycare world, there are so many cultures among staff and children that your child can meet, so it helps them if they have seen and interacted with different ethic groups beforehand.
If your family speaks a different language at home, please share a few words and information about your culture with your child’s teacher. Examples of words are hello, eat, outside, and goodbye.
Look at books: Read with your child each day in a positive, respectful way.
Each night, read a short, realistic picture book with your child about going to daycare until they become comfortable with it.
Picture books can help build reassurance, personal connection, and a sense of excitement and knowledge. This can help your child prep their mind and emotions for this experience.
Read positive books that teach skills about daycare, role-playing, and talking about daycare at home.
Good books
Hey, Baby! A Baby’s Day in Doodles.
Find Spot at the Nursery.
Llama, Llama Missies Mama.
When Mama Goes To Work.
Owl Babies by Martin Waddell.
5. Get Proper Daycare Supplies
Why: This is an excellent opportunity to spend time with your child as they help you prepare and gather things for daycare. Gathering and shopping for daycare supplies can be turned into songs, challenges, and games to help keep your toddler more engaged.
Home Things To Start Doing
Choices: Give your child daily options for activities, supplies, and small decisions.
Book a tour: Go with your child to their new daycare center, walk outside the building, and then look inside their classroom. Talk together about what you see, the foods they might eat, the warm energy, the other children playing, and how fun it looks.
Set up the structure: Be consistent with your child’s bedtime, home rules, transitions, and your timing. Also, begin doing transitions at home.
Pre-plan: Consider your first day back at work and aim to start your child's daycare about 1 month or 3 weeks before you return. In the beginning, your child might need to be picked up earlier or get sick.
Make a backup plan: Have a solid, reliable person who can drop off and pick up, just in case you can’t make it from work. Let their teacher know so they can add the name to your child’s pick-up list.
Independence: Give your child room, time, and space to be independent each day. Space to develop self-help skills, such as pulling down their pants, putting on their shoes, and playing independently.
Walking: Start taking short walks where your child can practice walking.
Learning skills. Let your children feed themselves at mealtime by providing them with child-sized utensils. Please encourage your child to use their words when asking for things and practice waiting sometimes for your attention.
Outdoor Play: Include at least 1 hour of daily outdoor play and at least 1 nap on home days. Encourage them to fall asleep on their own most of the time,
Reminders: Begin reminding your child that daycare will soon be a regular part of their routine to help them prepare.
6. Start Doing Things for Some Peace
Set a regular sleep routine
Begin by establishing a bedtime for your toddler to help build a consistent sleep schedule at home. Remember to include activities done before bedtime. The process of your child learning to fall asleep with minimal assistance takes time, so please allow them to practice.
Do a check-in
Take a moment to chat with your child’s teachers by making a check-in call or speaking with them at pick-up. Most daycare centers offer an app that provides parents with information about their child’s day.
Fill up the home freezer
Consider some easy meal ideas, then stock the freezer with quick, healthy options. For example, frozen vegetables, frozen cooked chicken, and frozen fish.
Take it easy and let out your emotions
It’s ok to cry, feel anxious, be sad, or have fears or nerves, read stories, do puppet shows, and talk about feelings with your child. It’s important to share with your toddler that “you will miss them’’ but remind them that you will come back and pick them up after work is finished.
Celebrate pickups
Take some time to reflect and talk with your child about their day, including what they ate and who they played with. This can all be done while they collect their things or walk out of the daycare. Ask open-ended questions so that your child can talk and share more vs saying just yes or no, for example, “what was your favourite activity that you did today?” or “how was the library today, what book did you get?”