Tips for A Single Parent Growing A Toddler
By giving your toddler love, feedback, consistency, room to explore and room to build self they can have the opportunity to become their best self.
Being a single parent can sometimes be emotionally challenging, stressful, overwhelming, and financially draining. It is a full-time job that can be energy-consuming but very rewarding. Hopefully, these tips can help you grow a healthy, happy, well-adjusted, and independent toddler.
1. Prase Positive Behaviors
When your toddler displays positive behavior, uses their manners, restrains themself from misbehaving, or tries new things, parents should vocally praise their effects. Vocally praising your toddler’s efforts can help them feel good about themselves and their efforts. Children want to please their parents and love it when they are happy with them, so they will learn that positive behaviors can give them a good outcome. Thus, they will engage in more of these types of behaviors. This is a powerful strategy to promote and encourage your child to engage in more positive behaviors than misbehaving. Setting clear rules, having boundaries, outlining realistic expectations, and having a healthy attachment to your child will help them feel safe and loved, thus resulting in better behavior.
Parents should teach their children through modelling to help their toddlers learn more positive behaviors and actions. Modelling is a positive teaching strategy that shows the actions of what good behaving looks like; children love to watch and listen to their parents. Other fun and age-friendly ways of modelling are reading books, doing puppet shows, singing songs, talking to your child, and engaging in role-playing.
2. Ignore Attention-seeking Behaviors
Sometimes, do not pay attention to nonserious misbehaviour; ignore them. Your toddler will learn that these behaviors will not get attention from you or create any positive reactions; in other words, this is not the best way to get your attention. Things such as whining, “I want” tantrums, baby talk, or overly silliness should not get any positive reinforcement, but parents should say to their child right away, “Use your words; I can’t understand what you are saying or when you act like this.”
3. Don’t Raise An Helpless Child
Self-helplessness is learned, and once this mind frame is developed and seen as the norm, your child will continue this throughout their life. Parents need to shut this down from the beginning by encouraging their children to do and try as many things as possible before helping them. This means letting your child go through testing, failing and achieving. When your child achieves something on their own, this helps build their self-worth, self-esteem, and realization of things; parents can praise your toddler’s efforts and achievements to convey that you noticed their efforts.
Your child is not a friend
Clear boundaries need to be known between the parent and the child from day one, or parents will have a more challenging time as their child grows. Children can learn who to respect quickly, but at the same time, they can learn who not to have any respect for.
Your Toddler needs guidance, love, limits, boundaries, and praise, but they also need to know the “hierarchy” between a parent and a child, so being their best friend clouds this and causes great confusion for a young child. Other things, such as being helicopter parents, parents treating children as adults, spoiling your child, and having no limits, rules or time for your child, can also cause long-term problems. These things can all create a negative outcome for your toddler; they are most likely to grow up not knowing their boundaries, having no respect, being socially awkward, not knowing acceptable behaviors, having poor attachment skills, and not having good communication skills.
4. Make And Stick to Consequences
Toddlers need daily consistency in their lives; knowing what’s expected and when they are wrong or right helps them make better decisions. They will also learn to develop better self-control as they develop their personalities and explore their environments.
Being consistent and having routines
Daily home routines and consistency can help your toddler feel safer, more secure, less stressed, and more independent because they know what to expect within their day.
Create consistency and structure around meals, wake-up time, bedtime, and bathtimes.
Having a morning and nighttime routine will help immensely when starting potty training. For example, having your child sit on the toilet when they wake up and before bed will help.
Set appropriate limits and house rules and stick to them. Work with your children to create the house rules so that they feel included, and praise them when they remember them.
Offer flexibility and easy choice-making, such as what toy they want to bring to the bathtub.
Develop a firm tone of voice and facial look
Using a firm voice with a firm look instead of yelling about unacceptable behaviors you need your toddler to know are unacceptable is an excellent strategy. Just yelling “Stop” at your toddler can cause them to ignore you and think it’s a game. Your firm tone and look should only be used when you want to convey to your toddler that enough is enough, and they must stop and listen to you right now. Sometimes, a slight, healthy scare is good for children; don’t worry, this won’t mess up your child in the future.
Try turning on this voice and your firm facial look after you have given your child a few warnings about their behavior. If they do not stop, then use this technique. Please remember to be down at your child’s level and look them in the eye when speaking to them.
Setting clear boundaries
Finding ways to set natural boundaries can work well for toddlers, rather than constantly asking them to “please stop.” Natural limits in environments can be as easy as rearranging spaces to be safer for your child to move freely around. For example, closing the park gate while your child plays outside or covering home plugs.
Think about the best consequences
Pre-think about your reaction and how you want to deal with desirable behavior from your toddler, and then stick with this discussion. Also, consider what behavior guidance strategy would work best for your child, such as renewal time or losing privileges. But please remember that whatever you choose, please stay consistent and follow through.
Be CCLR. Be consistent, confident, and loving.
Home tricks. Consider a few easy tricks to help your child calm down, such as playing their favorite music or placing a bin of picture books near them.
5. Assist in developing well-being
Assist your toddler in developing their well-being by:
Taking on a balanced parental style
Communicate what is expected of your child in a calm and non-judging way.
Find ways to celebrate your child’s success while also encouraging your child to continue trying things. Please don’t give food, sweets or new toys as rewards.
Don’t be a helicopter parent but a loving, fair, and responsible one.
Give room for your child to build Independence and discover self.
Being consistent
Consistency can help your toddler and you be more secure, less stressed, and more independent. It can also free up time for self-time, extra quality time, and improved bonding with your child.
Encourage Independence each day
The more your child can do on their own, the happier your toddler will be; this is a part of building self-confidence, being in control, and forming autonomy. Give your toddler enough time and space, and let them try, fail, and succeed at things. The key is to let your toddler know that you are there if they need you, but give them the room to foster this skill; it will boost their responsibility, self-pride, and self-esteem.
Positive environments matters
Consider the people and spaces you leave your child in and ensure they have similar ethics.
Think about safety and remember that your child is always watching and listening.
Try to have some regularity with who your child is staying with, such as a grandparent, daycare center, family friend, or someone that you trust.
Find safe, loving, quality and regular childcare with qualified caregivers.
Give your child time and space to build secure attachments to others so that they are not only tied to you.
6. Show Confidence
Conveying things confidently while talking to your toddler can help them know that you are in charge and sure about your decisions. Toddlers need to know and feel that their parents are in charge of home things so that they can feel safe.
Another aspect of confidence is being okay with getting or asking for help when needed; your child won’t see you as less. Getting help from other parents or programs to better understand challenging behaviors can give you a fresh pair of eyes, help reduce stress, help you learn new techniques, and help you be a better parent. We all need a healthy support system.
Tip. Please focus on the present; trust your thoughts, don’t overthink things, and deal with the issues as they are presented, not how you wish they were.
7. Ask Your Child to Be Your Helper
Encourage your toddler to help you around the home; they will love this. Most toddlers love to join in and be of some help; this helps them feel grown up and closer to you. Home environments are filled with things that can be made into age-appropriate safe tasks that your toddler can help with—such as sweeping, helping with folding laundry, putting away their shoes, tidying up their toys, wiping down the table, or hanging their things up. Adding a few child-size steps or stools within the home can help your child be more independent, want to be more involved, and reach things easier.
Have time together daily
Find a hobby you and your child can enjoy to build a stronger bond.
Sometimes, show extra interest in an activity your child likes; this can boost your toddler’s self-esteem.
During joint interactions, talk, ask open-ended questions, show actions of love, listen as your child talks, and be a play partner.
8. Keep Your Child Engaged
Daily provide open-ended toys
Toddlers need toys and materials that give them room for multi-usage and choice-making. Provide learning toys that stimulate thinking, encourage repetition, look realistic, and can be done independently sometimes. 1 "A little creativity combined with basic materials can stimulate play and facilitate a young child's development across all domains" (Guyton, p.2). Toys that require movements of pushing, pressing, turning, pouring, filling, building, and taking apart are great for deeper learning. However, choose learning toys and materials that are not one-dimensional for better success and enjoyment.
Examples: Puzzles, Stacking toys, Dolls and Blocks.
9. Do More Strenuous Sports Activities
Give your toddler enough time to explore, run, play, discover, and do physical things daily. Public outdoor spaces and activities such as going to the playground, neighbourhood walks, bike rides, forest walks, after-school sports, hiking, zoo trips, or a farmers market can be fun. Nature activities can help create openness to new things, a positive attitude, health, better emotions, and an appreciation for nature.
Let your child burn themselves out. Allow your child to do more energy-burning and strenuous activities throughout the day. For example, speed walking, sports, climbing, testing playground equipment, and engaging in mild rough-tumble play.
Let your child build more Leg strength. Daily leg exercises such as dancing, running, jumping, and walking at various speeds can help activate more growth and abilities in your child’s leg muscles.
Give space for movement. Do more activities that require frequent and intense whole-body workouts.
Give them room to climb things. Toddlers love to climb things. Find low, safe stuff to climb inside and outside the home. Low trees can be fun, soft climbing blocks or stairs.
10. Have Loving Down Times
Spending time together, being close, vocalizing your love, and being there for your child can communicate deep love to your child. In addition, loving actions such as cuddling while reading, cuddling while listening to music, and playing together are some ways to show love.
Daily build a stronger bond
Regular, meaningful interactions and quality time with your toddler can strengthen your bond faster. Please take some time to observe, listen to, and pay attention to your toddler so that you can learn their interests, dislikes, and likes. Each day, loving body language such as hugging, laughing, giving high fives, kissing, and smiling are direct ways to convey affection without saying much.
11. Daily Praise Your Child’s Efforts
Please praise and applaud your child's efforts and successes. Toddlers need to hear positive feedback from their parents as they try and test things out; this can help boost their self-esteem and encourage them to continue trying. However, most toddlers can tell when feedback is not genuine, which can negatively affect their self-esteem; they want to please you, so please be mindful of how and what you say. Sincere praise can be used at any time of the day.
Things to keep in mind
Encourage your child to try again after failures.
Use tones that reflect encouragement and compassion vs. tones of disappointment or anger.
Always state your child's action vs. just saying, “Good job.”
Use non-verbal praises such as smiles and gentle touches.
Say - “Wow, Hunny, you took two more steps up the stairs. I am so proud of you”.
Don’t say- “Wow, you still don't know how to walk; I’m so disappointed in you”.
12. Build A Flourishing Relationship
Building a secure relationship filled with trust, love, safety, and care is critical for your toddler to learn about healthy attachments as they grow and about give and take. Making time for joyful moments can form more quality memories for your toddler.
Cuddle together. Hug, cuddle, and say loving words to your child each day.
Talk to your child. Throughout each day, take some time and talk with your child. Talk about new things, upcoming events, or things that interest them.
Read together. Reading should be done daily. It can be a collaborative interaction where you and your child look at a book and ask questions. The best reading sessions are when parents are not occupied; your child chooses the book, shares thoughts, and asks questions.
Ask open-ended questions. Ask your child questions about their opinions on things, their day, and their play, and please give them choices throughout the day.
Build stronger bonds
Acknowledge your child’s feelings and encourage your toddler to express them. For example, when acknowledging feelings without accepting inappropriate behavior, say, “I can see you’re angry, but throwing toys is not okay.” “Let’s clean up the toys, and if you want a hug, you can have one.”
Have a lot of patience and let nonserious things just be.
Encourage and acknowledge what makes your toddler unique.
Find ways for your child to discover their strengths, worth, independence, and interests.
Talk with your toddler every day.
Tell and remind your toddler that you love them every day. Even when they misbehave, please tell them that you love them and are here for them.
Treat your toddler like a child, not an adult.
Find ways to display your child’s work throughout the home.
Sing, be silly and laugh with your child.
Offer simple everyday choices for your child to make. “Would you like a banana or an apple for a snack”?
Have playtime with your child.
When interacting with your child, don't be on your phone.
Respect your child’s space and give them time to be alone.
Let your child know when they have done something that is not kind.
Model being a good person in front of your child.
13. Work On Your Mental Health
Parents, please take care of your mental health, find positive ways to reduce stress, acquire help when needed, get some sleep, and find safe ways to deal with anxiety or depression.
Skip the guilt. Don't blame yourself for how things turned out; get the mental help you need. Your mental health will affect your toddler’s mental health, so get it right.
Find a positive outlet. Please take care of yourself by finding a healthy way to reduce stress or other mental health issues. These ideas don’t have to cost a lot of money. They can all be done at home, such as working out, eating a healthy diet, meditating, doing a home spa day, having a monthly playdate with another family, doing yoga at home, and getting enough sleep. If needed, please also investigate getting different types of professional help.
Get help when you need it. Find different support systems and use them; getting help can help make you a better parent. Some ideas include social groups for parents, becoming friends with other parents, calling on loved ones, joining community services, joining a social media support group, doing therapy, getting financial help, or doing another supportive idea. But please try to stay positive, acknowledge your success, test different ways to balance everything, and be kind to yourself.
Demonstrate healthy habits
Give your child more nutrition, such as proteins, fruits, darker vegetables, dairy, and healthy whole wheat grains. Foods don’t need to be organic but try to get fresh, nutritious produce. Parents can get healthy, affordable foods; choose alternatives such as a bag of beans instead of cooked beans.
Parents can spark good eating choices by modelling eating healthy foods.
Parents can involve their children in food tasks such as shopping and prep.
Parents can have collaborative discussions about food and read books about food.
Getting enough sleep
Sleeping is vital for children's physical growth and development because your child is still growing. Most toddlers need 11-14 hours of sleep each night plus a 1 1 ½- 2-hour nap in the day to help them recharge.
Plan for emergencies
Having a list of reliable and trustworthy people, you can call on in emergencies or when something unexpected comes up is always a good idea. These can be reliable babysitters or cost-effective drop-in childcare providers.
Adapted from Using Toys to Support Infant-Toddler Learning and Development. Guyton.https://educate.bankstreet.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1006&context=faculty-staff