Is My Toddler on Track? How to Nurture Confidence and Identity the Healthy Way
From exploring sense of self to engaging in various forms of play, toddlers are constantly discovering their abilities, boundaries, and potential.
Toddlers are on a remarkable journey of discovering who they are and where they fit in the world. At this stage, every interaction, activity, and moment of encouragement contributes to their sense of self-worth and individuality. By providing opportunities that foster confidence, independence, and emotional expression, you can help your child embrace their unique personality and develop resilience.
1. Engage In Pretend Play
Play is the cornerstone of a toddler's journey, offering countless opportunities to explore, build creativity, discover, and grow skills. Parents can nurture creativity, problem-solving, and self-expression by providing ample time, space, and a variety of open-ended toys. Play should be unstructured, free, and full of endless possibilities, promoting repetition, open thinking, and testing boundaries to fuel healthy brain development. Pretend play is the gateway to imagination and symbolic thinking for children.
Why Pretend Play Matters
It sparks creativity and symbolic thinking.
It builds language skills through dialogue and storytelling.
It strengthens emotional regulation by acting out feelings.
It enhances problem-solving and cognitive flexibility.
It enhances social skills, including sharing roles, negotiating, and cooperating.
It fosters independence and self-confidence in safe make-believe scenarios.
Parent Rules When Engaging in Pretend Play
Your child should lead and direct play, allowing them to take the reins.
Ensure enough time for your child to engage fully in their play sequence.
Activities should encourage self-talk and character formation.
Play can be done individually by your child or with you for shared bonding.
Include opportunities for your child to express themselves verbally during play.
Provide materials and toys that match your child's ability for optimal engagement.
Offer open-ended materials and props, objects that can be many things, such as blocks, dress-up clothing, to inspire imagination and creativity.
Play should always be fun for your child.
Designate a loose-parts play zone. Keep boxes, scarves, toy phones, and kitchen tools on hand.
Play alongside your child, then step back and let them take the lead. Provide new ideas and extended thoughts, then let them guide the way.
Ask “what if” questions. Ask, “What happens if the car runs out of fuel?” to stretch imagination.
Rotate your child’s toys and costumes. Keep interest high by swapping dress-up outfits, toys, art materials, and science materials every 2 weeks.
Schedule daily make-believe time. Even if it’s just 10–15 minutes of daily focused pretend play, this can fuel growth.
Celebrate your child’s stories. Ask open-ended questions as a spark and let your child talk. “How did you make this? Can you tell me what it is?”.
If your young toddler mouths a few toys, don’t be too worried; they are learning and exploring the objects.
Play Home Ideas
Turn routines into drama fun, such as having breakfast at a café, or pretending that clean-up time is a space mission.
Engaging in various styles of pretend play, such as make-believe play, animating objects, role-playing, and creating imaginary companions, daily.
Dramatizing real-life scenarios can help your child learn about creativity, realism, and problem-solving abilities. Things such as going to the doctor, the supermarket, taking your dog for a walk, or going to school.
Mix in music and movement as you both act out a song or dance.
Host mini pretend playdates with your toddler. Create situations to model skills such as turn-taking, conflict resolution, problem-solving, and managing emotions.
Provide enough time, space, and props when engaging in pretend play. Your child’s imagination, social skills, and emotions will have time to flourish.
Adding realistic customs and props can encourage your toddler to explore social roles, critical thinking, and stretch their imagination in fun and meaningful ways.
Adding books with pretend play is an excellent way for your toddler to foster their imagination and ability to view the world from different perspectives.
The Research On Pretend-Play?
Research states that “pretend play helps to spark more profound imagination, creativity, realism, and symbolic imagery. Pretend play, also called fantasy play, make-believe play, symbolic play, dramatic play, or imaginative play, is a multifaceted behaviour. It comprises various activities, such as animating objects, role-playing, or having imaginary companions” (Jaggy & Ann-Kathrinthis, 2020, p. 3).
2. Support Self-Discovery
Self-discovery equips children with emotional resilience, empathy, and the ability to make thoughtful decisions. Encouraging reflection helps them understand their feelings and recognize personal growth over time. Childhood is a prime window for forming identity. Activities that blend freedom and guidance allow kids to explore their preferences, values, and strengths, laying a foundation for lifelong confidence and autonomy.
Innovative Activities to Spark Insight
Creative Arts and Expression: Provide open-ended art materials such as paints, clay, playdough, coloured paper, and recycled objects to let your child convey their thoughts and emotions through their own lens.
Sorytelling Exploration: Use storytelling, puppet play, or books to encourage your child to narrate their own stories from personal experiences or invented tales.
Nature Expeditions: Have nature walks where your toddler collects different treasures, such as leaves, sticks, and stones.
Sensory Experiences: Incorporate sensory activities such as water play, feeling different textures, blind tastings, or listening to bird songs to deepen emotional connection with senses.
Journaling and Visual Reflection: Invite your child to draw or scribble their favorite activities, or things to do. Review drawing together and let your child talk about their images.
Digital Storytelling Apps: This is a fun way to integrate learning and technology. You and your child can create simple photos and video diaries, narrating favorite moments.
Interactive Emotion: Choose an age-appropriate app that allows your toddler to select emotive icons to describe their feelings at various times, and encourage early emotional literacy.
Cooperative Projects: Engage in a joint activity together; it can be something simple, like building a block tower or planting seeds in a community garden.
Calm-Down Kits: Assemble small boxes with stress balls, textured fabrics, or soft music players. When big feelings surface, your child can choose an item to help them regulate their emotions.
How To Nurture Confidence And Identity The Healthy Way
Support "Mine" Moments: Embrace your toddler's possessions, using the word "mine" for toys, clothing, books, and personal belongings.
Support “No” Moments: Allow your child the freedom to practice using their “no” power, teach them to set boundaries, and express their choices.
Redirect Claiming Behavior: If your child starts claiming everything they see, surround them with their items to focus their sense of ownership.
Gentle Guidance: Teach them the difference between their possessions and things not theirs with kindness and clarity.
Encourage Decision-Making: Allow your child to make choices, whether selecting their outfit or deciding between activities, to build independence and confidence.
Celebrate Efforts, Not Just Outcomes: Acknowledge their hard work and persistence, emphasizing the process rather than the result.
Set Achievable Challenges: Provide tasks that stretch their abilities without overwhelming them, fostering a sense of accomplishment.
Promote Self-Reflection: Ask your child how they feel about their achievements to encourage self-awareness and pride.
Model Positive Behavior: Demonstrate self-acceptance, optimism, and gratitude to inspire similar attitudes in your child.
Offer Varied Experiences: Introduce your child to new environments, activities, and social interactions to help them discover their preferences and strengths.
Encourage Creative Expression: Provide opportunities for art, music, storytelling, and imaginative play to let them express their individuality.
Create a Safe Space for Mistakes: Allow your child to fail and learn from their experiences, emphasizing that mistakes are part of growth.
Foster Responsibility: Assign age-appropriate tasks, like tidying toys or feeding a pet, to instill a sense of accountability.
Encourage Gratitude: Teach your child to appreciate their accomplishments and the support they receive from others.
Opportunities for Independence: Create chances for your toddler to test their abilities, accomplish tasks, and experience pride in their independence.
Daily Independent Play: Dedicate daily time for your child to engage in independent play, fostering creativity and self-reliance.
Celebrate Their Achievements: Let your child see, hear, and feel your pride in their efforts and successes, which will help build their self-esteem and encourage them to explore freely.
Opportunities for Learning About Self: Please encourage your child to use their name and gender when describing themselves to build self-awareness and identity. Also, provide opportunities for them to explore and observe their bodies in a safe environment.
Body Parts: Teach your child the correct names for body parts and emphasize that they control their bodies.
What’s This: Introduce new foods, activities, and toys to help your child discover their preferences and expand their experiences.
Model Self-Reflection: Share your own thought processes. “I felt frustrated when traffic stopped me, so I took three deep breaths to calm down”.
Use the “Stop-Think-Act” Method: This can help teach your child to pause, identify their emotion, and choose a response rather than reacting impulsively.
Open-Ended Questions: After reading a story or playing a game, ask “What would you do differently next time?” or “Why do you think the character felt that way?” to promote perspective-taking and values exploration.
Feedback-guided Sessions: Sometimes, give your child positive comments after they create a piece of work or do something positive. Say, “I like how you drew the sun!”.
Frame Mistakes as Learning: For example, when a tower tumbles, narrate “Towers fall. Let’s try again!” to instill a growth mindset.
3. Encourage Daily Body Exploration
Daily body awareness activities build motor skills, boost confidence, and ground toddlers in their emerging sense of self.
Encourage Body Exploration: Give your child space to examine their bodies and discover what different parts can or cannot do.
Build Comfort and Trust: Help your child become comfortable with their bodies from infancy to foster self-trust and awareness.
Teach Body Autonomy: Have age-appropriate conversations about managing their bodies to help them understand boundaries and recognize uncomfortable touches.
Learn Correct Terminology: Teach your child the proper names for each body part to build knowledge and confidence.
Model Consent: Show respect by asking your child if you can hug them, teaching them the importance of consent.
Explore Through Books: Read books that label and illustrate body parts to support learning.
Engage in Movement: Encourage activities such as clapping hands, wiggling toes, stretching arms, and raising their feet.
Discover Belly Buttons: Let your child explore and look at their belly buttons as part of body awareness.
Mirror Play: Use mirrors to help your child observe their bodies and movements.
Gentle Touch: Encourage your child to touch their faces and bodies to build sensory awareness.
Sing Body Songs: Sing songs that point to body parts to make learning fun and interactive.
Practice Gestures: Teach waving, pointing, and high-fiving to develop coordination and social skills.
Independent Dressing: Encourage your toddler to pull on their hat, put on their shoes, and put on other clothing independently.
Active Body Adventures
Mini Obstacle Courses: Utilize cushions, low stools, and tunnels to challenge balance, coordination, and spatial awareness.
Animal Walks: Say fun challenges such as “Hop like a frog, slither like a snake, or stomp like an elephant”.
Parachute and Blanket Play: Lift and lower a sheet or parachute together; music can be put on to add more fun.
Treasure Hunt: Hide textured objects such as feathers, pebbles, fabric scraps, or small toys in a bin and ask your child to identify them by touch.
Yago Poses: Encourage your child to try out different yoga poses and model them so they can see. Such as balancing on one foot under a tree, stretching arms like branches, or trying the cat pose.
Breathing Buddies: Lie down with your child and place a small stuffed animal on your bellies; watch it rise and fall as you inhale and exhale.
Body Tracing Art: Trace your child’s body outline on large paper and decorate each part with favorite colors or textures.
Movement Storytime: Act out a story with full-body motions such as “tiptoe past the dragon,” or “stretch up to pick the star”.
Chore Tasks: Invite your child to help around the house, such as dusting low shelves, putting away small items, or carrying laundry baskets.
Grocery Bag Walks: Let your child carry a light grocery bag during a family shopping trip. Once at home, let them help you put items on a low counter. ,
Tug-of-War Game: Use a soft rope or towel for gentle tug games that reinforce muscle tone and teamwork.
4. Spend Time With Your Child
Spending quality time with your child is one of the most impactful ways to nurture their emotional well-being and sense of self-worth. Quality time is the foundation of emotional security, identity formation, and lifelong confidence. Toddlers thrive when they feel seen, heard, and valued, especially by the people they trust most.
Core Principles of Meaningful Time Together (even for 5-10 mins daily)
Be Fully Present: Put away distractions. Eye contact, active listening, and undivided attention signal to your child that they matter.
Follow Their Lead: Let your toddler choose the activity. Whether it’s stacking blocks or pretending to be a dinosaur, honoring their interests builds autonomy and self-worth. Let your toddler direct the play. This boosts confidence, decision-making, and emotional expression. You can also practice turn-taking, sharing, and empathy skills within these play sessions.
Use Physical Affection Often: Hugs, cuddles, high-fives, and gentle touch foster secure attachment and emotional regulation.
Keep It Simple: You don’t need elaborate plans. A walk, a shared snack, or a silly dance party can be significant.
Create Rituals: Daily routines, such as bedtime stories, morning songs, or weekend pancake-making, become anchors of connection and predictability.
Tech-Free Zones: Designate screen-free times such as at dinnertime, bathtime, and bedtime to model presence and encourage real conversation.
Laugh Often: Shared laughter, be silly, make faces, talk with your child, and invent goofy games together.
Simple Choices: Let your child have a few simple choices daily, such as choosing clothes, snacks, or activities. Offer two toddler-friendly options, such as “Red shirt or blue?”, to practice decision-making and reinforce that their preferences matter.
Keep the Peace: Use cuddles and a calm voice during complex transitions or tantrums. Also, validate big feelings instead of “Don’t cry,” acknowledge their emotions, “I see you’re upset,” to teach that all feelings are acceptable.
Joint Activity Ideas
Cultural Storytime: Read books from diverse cultures and encourage your child to ask questions.
Nature Journaling: Collect leaves, rocks, or bugs and draw them together. Talk about what your child notices and how it makes them feel.
Role Reversal Play: Let your toddler “be the parent” for a few minutes.
Music and Movement: Dance to music, try yoga poses, or play an instrument to increase movement.
Cooking Together: Let your child stir, pour, or taste while making something easy with them. Cooking builds fine motor skills, patience, and pride in shared accomplishments.
Pro Tips for Busy Parents
Schedule It Like a Meeting: Block out 15–30 minutes daily for uninterrupted time with your child.
Use Transitions Wisely: Turn everyday moments, getting dressed, brushing teeth, into playful bonding opportunities.
Celebrate your child’s Interests: If your child loves trucks, bugs, or dinosaurs, dive into that world with them. It shows respect for their individuality.
Stay Curious: Ask questions like “What was your favorite part of today?” or “How did that make you feel?” to build emotional vocabulary.
Be Kind to Yourself: It’s not about perfection; it’s about presence. Even small moments of connection count.
5. Make Displaying Emotions Normal
Creating a home culture where feelings are honored and shared teaches children that every emotion, joy, frustration, sadness, and excitement is a natural part of life. When children feel safe expressing emotions, they build emotional intelligence, resilience, and a strong sense of self-worth. Normalizing emotional expression helps toddlers understand that all feelings, joy, frustration, sadness, and excitement are valid and manageable.
1Demonstrating is an excellent technique for young children; they can visually see what words mean, view actions and facial expressions, and hear different tones (Lieberman, 2017, p.25).
Strategies for Normalizing Emotions
Model Healthy Expression: Use phrases like “I feel frustrated, so I’m taking a deep breath” to show calm, constructive emotional responses.
Validate Every Emotion: Saying things like “It’s okay to feel sad” or “You’re allowed to be angry” teaches acceptance, not suppression.
Use Positive Body Language: Smile, nod, kneel to their level, and maintain an open posture to show you’re emotionally available and receptive.
Talk Through Feelings: Narrate emotions during daily routines: “You’re excited to see Grandma!” or “You’re upset because your toy broke.”
Create a Safe Space: Designate a cozy corner with soft items where your child can go to calm down or reflect when overwhelmed.
Involve Play: Reading books, doing puppet shows, role-playing, and talking through feelings are also great ways to model acceptance of showing emotions, and for example, acting out scenarios like losing a toy or sharing with a friend.
Emotion Books: Read stories that explore feelings and ask questions like “How do you think the character felt?” to build empathy.
Art as Expression: Encourage drawing, painting, or clay play to help your child express feelings nonverbally and creatively.
Multicultural Emotion Stories Share books and media from different cultures that highlight emotional experiences in varied family settings.
Language-Rich Environments: Teach Emotion Words in Multiple Languages. This supports bilingual development and emotional literacy.
Tips for Parents to Reinforce Emotional Safety
Stay Calm During Big Feelings: Your tone and posture matter more than your words. A calm presence can help your child regulate their own emotions.
Praise Emotional Honesty: Say “Thank you for telling me you’re sad” to reinforce openness and trust.
Use Emotion Songs & Rhymes: Music helps toddlers connect with feelings. Try songs like “If You’re Happy and You Know It” with added verses for other emotions.
Practice Coping Skills Together: Teach your child deep breathing, counting to ten, or squeezing a stress ball as a way to manage emotions when they run high.
Test & Adapt Techniques: Every child is different. Try various methods, visuals, movement, storytelling, and observe what resonates most.
Model and Validate Emotions
Use I-feel statements out loud.
Example: “I’m feeling anxious about tomorrow’s meeting, so I’m taking a deep breath.”
Mirror your child’s body language.
Kneel to your child’s level, maintain an open posture, nod, and smile to show you’re genuinely listening.
Normalize the full emotional spectrum.
Say “It’s okay to feel angry” or “Everyone gets nervous sometimes.”
Introduce nonviolent communication
Teach phrases like “When you shout, I feel worried” or “Can you tell me what’s wrong?”
Integrating Technology Tools
Kid-friendly mood-tracking apps.
Apps with simple emojis and voice prompts let children log feelings over time.
Interactive emotion flashcards.
Digital or printed cards showing faces, scenarios, or words.
Video modeling.
Short clips of diverse children narrating or acting out emotions.
Showing Affection After Big Emotions
Provide Gentle Touches and Hugs: Offer warmth and physical affection to build a sense of security and connection.
Spend Quiet Time Together: Sit quietly with your child, actively listen, and show genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings.
Express Love Verbally: Frequently say, “I love you so much,” and encourage your child to share their feelings openly.
Model Positive Emotional Expression: Display emotions in healthy ways to teach your child how to express their feelings constructively.
Normalize Having Feelings: Communicate that experiencing emotions is natural and that it’s okay to express them.
Create a Safe and Loving Home Environment: Build a space that fosters trust, Love, and well-being to ensure your child feels valued and supported.
Encourage Open Communication: Create a space where your child feels comfortable expressing their thoughts and emotions without judgment.
Establish Predictable Routines: Consistent daily routines, such as mealtimes and bedtime rituals, help toddlers feel secure and reduce anxiety.
Provide Age-Appropriate Challenges: Offer tasks and activities that are slightly challenging but achievable to build confidence and resilience.
Celebrate Individuality: Acknowledge your child's uniqueness and interests to make them feel valued and appreciated.
Create a Calm Atmosphere: Minimize loud noises and distractions to foster a peaceful environment where your child can focus and relax.
Encourage Exploration: Set up safe spaces for your child to explore independently, promoting curiosity and self-reliance.
Model Positive Behavior: Demonstrate kindness, patience, and respect to teach your child how to interact with others.
Offer Choices: Let your child make decisions, such as choosing their outfit or snack, to empower them and build independence.
Provide Physical Affection: Regular hugs, cuddles, and gentle touches reinforce emotional security and attachment.
Celebrate Achievements: Praise your child’s efforts and accomplishments, no matter how small, to boost their self-esteem.
Guiding Your Child Through Intense Outbursts
Talk It Over Together: Engage in open conversations to help your child process emotions.
Keep Communication Open: Create a safe space where your child feels comfortable sharing their feelings.
Allow Time for Expression: Give your child the time they need to cry, express themselves, and feel supported.
Listen Actively: Pay attention to your child as they express their emotions, showing empathy and understanding.
Respect Their Feelings: Validate your child’s emotions and encourage them to express themselves freely.
Share Personal Stories: Relate to your child by sharing age-appropriate stories of when you experienced similar emotions.
Be Understanding: Approach the situation with compassion, avoiding judgment or blame.
Avoid Focusing on Misbehavior: Shift the focus away from what your child did wrong and address the underlying emotions instead.
Respect Their Need for Space: Recognize that your child might need some alone time and may not always want physical comfort like hugs.
Step Into Their Shoes: Try to understand your child’s emotions by empathizing with their perspective.
Stay Patient and Calm: Model emotional regulation by remaining composed during their outburst.
Offer Reassurance: Let your child know it’s okay to be upset and you’re there to support them.
Teach Coping Strategies: Introduce simple techniques like deep breathing or counting to help them manage emotions.
Create a Calm-Down Space: Designate a quiet, comforting area where your child can self-regulate.
Use Positive Reinforcement: Praise your child when they constructively handle their emotions.
Encourage Problem-Solving: Help your child brainstorm solutions to the situation that triggered their outburst.
Model Healthy Emotional Expression: Demonstrate how to express emotions constructively and respectfully.
Provide Physical Comfort When Needed: Offer a hug or gentle touch if your child is open to it, reinforcing your support.
Be Understanding
Be Understanding: Approach your child's emotions with compassion and empathy.
Maintain Open Communication: Ensure your child knows they can share their feelings with you without fear of judgment.
Allow Time for Expression: Give your child the time they need to cry, express themselves, and feel supported.
Listen Actively: Pay full attention when your child talks about their emotions, showing that their feelings are valued.
Validate Their Feelings: Respect your child’s emotions and encourage them to express their feelings openly.
Relate Through Personal Stories: Share experiences of when you had similar emotions, helping your child feel understood.
Avoid Judgment or Blame: Focus on understanding your child's emotions rather than criticizing or emphasizing their behavior.
Respect Their Need for Space: Recognize that your child may sometimes need space and not want physical comfort, such as a hug.
Empathize with Their Perspective: Try to step into their shoes and understand their feelings from their viewpoint.
Practice Patience and Calmness: Model emotional regulation by staying calm and patient during emotional moments. The communication lines open between you and your child.
Teach Emotional Vocabulary: Help your child name their feelings by introducing simple words like "happy," "sad," and "angry".
Use Visual Aids: Create emotion charts or picture books to help your child identify and understand their emotions.
Offer Comfort Items: Provide a favorite toy, blanket, or stuffed animal to help soothe your child during emotional moments.
Practice Deep Breathing: Teach your child to take slow, deep breaths to calm themselves during an outburst.
Redirect Attention: Gently shift your child's focus to a calming activity, like drawing or playing with sensory toys.
Create a Calm-Down Space: Set up a quiet, cozy area where your child can self-regulate and feel safe.
Use Positive Reinforcement: Praise your child for expressing their emotions constructively or calming down after an outburst.
Encourage Physical Activity: Let your child release pent-up energy by engaging in activities like jumping, dancing, or running.
Model Emotional Regulation: Show your child how you manage your own emotions calmly and effectively.
Provide Choices: Offer simple options to empower your child and reduce frustration, such as allowing them to choose between two activities or snacks.
Engage in Role-Playing: Act out scenarios with your child to practice handling emotions in a playful and supportive way.
Use Music or Singing: Play calming songs or sing songs to help your child relax and shift their mood.
Offer Gentle Physical Contact: If your child is receptive, provide a comforting hug or hold their hand to reassure them.
Follow Up with Reflection: After the outburst, talk with your child about what happened and explore ways to handle similar situations in the future.
Lieberman. (2018).https://books.google.ca/books?hl=en&lr=&id=16VBDwAAQBAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PP11&dq=The+Emotional+Life+of+the+Toddler.+Lieberman(2017).&ots=eaAUqmc2eb&sig=INJ_TMM1pWDfepPFbnNgn3W8VOw#v=onepage&q=The%20Emotional%20Life%20of%20the%20Toddler.%20Lieberman.%20(2017).